What if...
What if one day you got a call from your dad? Someone you were never really close to?
What if he told you he was dying?
What if you were asked to take in your 16-year-old Taiwanese half sister... for you to bring up?
What if you were told by well-meaning friends of the dad : "I think this would be better.. as you're brother and sister"
What if?
What would you do? What would YOU do? Because I really don't.
*sob*
posted by PC @ 9:37 pm
7 Comments:
PC:
No. Cut ties and be done.
Taking in the 16-year-old stranger jeopardises the stability of your own little family. The little family that is really and truly your own.
- Mr Wang.
Sorry. On further thought, I don't know enough and I shouldn't comment. I take back the earlier comment.
- Mr Wang.
C'mon... He needs to be responsible for his own family and behaviour. You're responsible for your own behaviour and as I can see...adorable family. Sorry for sounding harsh. Don't sweat it man.
A few years ago, the girl's mother was found dead at home. She had apparently fallen, hit her head and had passed away.
Since then, it has been my dad who has been taking care of her. While he's not been a very responsible man, I'm proud of the fact that he's finally grown up.
When I first heard this, my first reaction was that of Mr Wang and Anon... if she were to stay with me... I would in effect become her parent..(I've a few friends my age with 16 year olds)... and that WOULD really affect the dynamics in my family. Also, there was anger. Why should I have to pick up after my dad?
But as I reflected, I also realized that the girl was innocent. She's got no one. No mother. No father. Now, no brother. Her mother's side broke off all relations with her mother when she went out with my dad, a married man. She was exactly where I was, 40 years ago.
Only thing was, I had my grandaunty... and she has.. no one
I saw all that. That is why I took back my 1st comment. Mr Wang bakes good karma, and reads it well as well.
In fact, the workings of karma are so intricate in your case. Your sister is not merely you, 40 years ago.
You are also your father, 40 years ago, with the choice to abandon or not abandon (he did).
YOu are also your grandaunty, 40 years with the choice to adopt or not adopt (she did).
And your father ...! After dumping you, he had the opportunity to make karmic amends by raising his daughter. But it has not been enough. When his younger wife dies, he, an old man, becomes alone in raising the daughter (he becomes your grandaunty raising you). But he does not have your grandaunty's karmic credit balance - that is why he will not live to see his daughter reach an age when she can take care of herslef (unlike your grandaunty & you).
In his dying days, he will be tortured by thoughts of whether his long-abandoned son will save his daughter from being abandoned as well. And he will suffer the regret of having abandoned you. Having abandoned you for most of your life, his karmic retribution is that he has to come to you to beg that you not abandon his daughter.
Your optimal karmic decision is clear to me ... Clear is not the same as easy. Your karmic fate is bound to these individuals; in your next lives, you will meet again and your lives will intertwine until you folks sort yourselves out one way or the other.
Excuse me for blabbering .... I really believe in karma, you know.
- Mr Wang
father-daugther, brother-sister, extended family is still family. i'm sure u will make the right decision. when all else fails, look around u at your loved ones & ask: 'does she look like my family?'
hugss
bro,
am back after a short hiatus.
am sorry to hear about the tough decision you have to make, man. shit, I also donno what is right.
maybe I will say this. do what is best... regardless of the past. make your decision for the future.
do what gives you peace. you **can** do it one.
hws
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