Heady mix of alcohol, suntan lotion and hormones...

Just came back from the company do... 3 days 2 nights of rest, relaxation and celebration for the "achievers"...

Arrived Friday afternoon and checked in. Flush not working. Called housekeeping. Changed and went swimming.

Frolicked by the pool. Amazing how the normally reserved women shed their clothes, preferring to don the bright.. and skimpy (not that I'm complaining) bikinis *grin*.

Won't bore you with the description of the rest of the trip, but there's this thing about going on holidays with the office folks which happens EVERY TIME with EVERY COMPANY... and all this happens with the official "party"...

Standard Operating Procedure for the Party

First, every one arrives at the function room in their get ups... some looking embarrassed, some bored, some proud of their bodies, their costumes, themselves. People milled around the buffet line, wolfing down the wide variety of foods, hungry from the long trip. Soon, the festivities begin and the emcee gets everyone standing with the ice-breakers. Soon after, the booze flows... and everyone seems to be best friends with everyone else.

Woman start looking more delectable *smack* and men start getting interested. Thoughts of "Hey, never noticed her before" start popping up and everyone's getting friendlier... dirty dancing and hands sidle up to waists... beer goggles in full gear here.

Soon though, everyone heads out the door with their stash of alcohol and head towards their private parties... some ending only in the wee hours of the morning.

In a few hours, everyone's back on the breakfast buffet line. Bleary eyed and heads throbbing through alcohol-induced dehydration... By lunch time, rumours of couplings the night before start making their rounds. People start speculating... and eyes are peeled for evidence of these news sparks of romance / lust...

End of the trip and everyone goes home. Some couples would have come of these. Some will go on strong. Most, however, will just fade away... the magic of the relationship fading away with the fading of the tans...

Yup. Happens every time with every trip I've been to... *shrug*...

And oh... the flush never got fixed...

The sucky thing about making decisions

It's been a while.. it's like that with us ADHD folks :o)

Have been doing tons of research about this condition. Actuall got into a minor depression.. thinking about how life would have been had I not had this. Thoughts about the "what-if's".

I've more or less snapped out of it... and have begun coming up with strategies about how to deal with it.

It seems people with ADHD have difficulty completing projects.. hence, the "marathon project", the "inline skating project", and countless others. I'm still keen to do these though, although I now have to set really S-H-O-R-T time targets, such as a week. Well, this is the advice my doctor prescribed me.

Another topic on my mind is the fact that I've never really been able to sustain any real weight loss... be it through exercise, through diet choices. *shrug*

A fellow I met last week took one look at me and exhuberantly proclaimed "Bro.. you must go for Lap Banding!!!" Guaranteed will work for you one! Seems this chap lost 25 kgs in 6 months... "all without exercise!". All through this exhuberance, his assistant was gesticulating from the side... "no .. no.. don't do it... wait you eat that time sure kenna choke wan"..

So.. on the one hand, if I don't do this, I'm having hell of a time trying to lose weight.. difficulties in controlling my food choices.. exercising.. and yet if I don't, I run the real risk of having a heart attack and dying before I'm 50. If I do go ahead with this un-natural procedure, I'll probably end up choking on my meals (in the beginning at least), forcing me to make proper food choices and resulting in me losing really significant weight for the first time in my life...

Thing is, I'm really torn about having the procedure done. I love my food. I love the process of thinking what to cook, of going marketing to choose the ingredients, of the actual food preparation, of the wonderful smells wafting through the kitchen and the whole house. Damn. I do love my food.... and I have such a wonderful emotional attachment to my food.

I have to make a decision either way. Don't do it.. and I've got to find a way of whipping myself... Do it... and live with the emotional breakup with my food...

It sucks.