Thursday, January 26, 2006

The cruel passage of time

Just had lunch with my dad and my grandmother today....

He looks like... an old man... drawn and tired... and not the Dad I remembered.

I am softened...



Blogger trisha said...

Glad you had lunch with your dad.

My dad passed away last year and my brother and I had always felt a tinge of guilt that we had not spent enough time with him. He was a reticent man and we had never felt we could connect with him. Now that he's gone, we regretted not even telling him he had mattered to us, in his own unique way.


8:19 pm  
Blogger PC said...


It's that I've grown.. and I've got my own family.. all of a sudden, everyone's fussing over me. It's like... "Oh PC, you're so capable this and you're so good at that..blah blah blah"... It's tough for me because there were so many times when I reached out to find.. nothing.

I took the time to read through my older entries and it all came through with a "woe is me" kind of tone... that's so not me. I'm very strong.. and have built up a wonderful life in spite of a tentative start. I was blessed with a wonderful Grandaunty who brought me up as her own. Who, despite the lack of finances and education, surprised everyone by bringing up someone so far removed, where relationships go (my grandfather was adopted into the family)... that I believe God put her here on earth specially to bring me up.

That's why it been a bit uncomfortable for me. Up till now, it was clear that :

1) My parents have no significant part to play in my life except to conceive and have me;

2) I have no family on my side save for my wife's wonderful family;

Now, my dad at least, wants to "keep in touch"... I've been thinking long and hard and actually have an entry on draft which records all my reflections...

Thanks for sharing about your dad. I'm sure he knew, deep inside, of the love that you and your brother had for him...

8:29 am  
Blogger Gilbert Koh said...

Here and here. For you. Oh, and Trisha too.

10:41 am  
Blogger HairyDonut said...

No point being too nice, I say.

If your parents could bring themselves to minimise their involvement in your childhood, then they should know what to expect.

9:43 am  

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