My Dad Has Just Called...

... to say that he's coming back to Singapore on the 25th of January from Taiwan for a short holiday, together with my grandmother who's coming back from the UK to join him here.

*sigh* I do have mixed feelings about this.

It's funny. Perhaps children can sense something... After I broke the news to her while I was driving home after picking her up from school, she kept quiet.. and then said :

"Daddy, so funny. Your daddy and your grandmother were away for soooo long. Until you are an A-D-U-L-T already. So funny, right?"

Right. Exactly how I feel. Amazing how even a 5 year old can work that out.

About 15 years ago, my grandmother was on a trip to Singapore and she tried to "reconnect", after years of not being in contact. "We are family", she tells me.... and all that "blood-is-thicker-than-water" litany

Right....

Now that's I'm all grown up, have my own career, no hassles involved... she wants to "reconnect"

"It's too late", I remember telling her then, "you were not around when I was growing up. It's really hard now"...

It's same for my dad too... a product of a broken family many times over. He calls when he needs help. He calls when he wants to "chat". He was never around when I was growing up.

Now, many years on, the fact remains : "It's too late", all of you, "IT'S TOO BLOODY LATE!"

And so, why am I having mixed feeling? Because deep inside me, I too, want to mend it and make it good again.

I just don't know.

*shrug*