Friday, May 12, 2006

Just decide, dammit!

Read this ==> E at L's "rants" about this and this...

I've met E@L IRL (in real life, for you non geeks out there) and really, that is one funny man. I really enjoy talking with him; he's really intelligent and interesting and I reckon if we wanted to, we can talk about anything under the sun (no worries dude, in case you're reading this, I'm straight as a rod... hey wait, THAT didn't come out right...). Strange thing is, as I was reading the posts, my mind was heading at a total tangent.

I know E@L was talking about certain famous bloggers becoming "dull and uninteresting", and about the need to maintain a certain funny persona, just so people would continue to like them.

I started thinking about relationships... and marriages... and about most things in life actually.

Remember the time you first met someone whom you found attractive?
Remember the first time you held hands? The tingly feeling in your fingers as they gently brushed across her face? Remember the long walks? The long interesting conversations? The longing gaze as you looked at her eat / sleep / live / breathe? Remember how funny you thought she was? Remember how beautiful she was as she walked down the aisle?

Remember when all that got old? Remember the times when you walked on ahead, because she was walking too slowly? Remember thinking that she's no longer funny, her laugher more akin to a witch's cackle.. hmm.. why didn't you notice that before? Remember the time when you realized that the two of you really didn't have anything in common anymore?

The relationship had become, *gasp*, dull and uninteresting. It's perhaps at this point in time... that you think to yourself... may be I don't love her anymore; perhaps it's time to move on; to find your "real" soulmate.

Perhaps. Perhaps.

Perhaps you should notice how her body has changed from having the lovely children. Or that she wakes up in the middle of the night just to make sure that you take your fever medicine because you're running a 40 degress temperature. Perhaps you should focus on all the reasons why you still love her. Perhaps.

Maybe it's not your marriage. Maybe it's your work. Work that you found challenging earlier but you find tedious now... because it seems you're the only one trying hard. Or that the market is just so damn hard now you wonder how in the world you're going to cut it.

Simple. Just decide. Then stick to your decision.

If we decide to love our wives/husbands with all our hearts, if we decide to treat other people with love even if they don't return the favour, if we decide to go about our work to the best of our ability even though the challenges seem unsurmountable.

Just decide. Then just do it. The quality of your life will become great.



Blogger boo said...

i wholeheartedly agree :)

9:07 pm  
Blogger trisha said...

Like your post.

Good reminder to many of us who are married.

The operative word is "decide", as you so aptly put it. You DECIDE to continue loving the person you married. Despite, or in spite of all the mundane, insipid, humdrum events that have come and are going to come, for many years yet!

8:36 am  
Blogger expat@large said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:01 pm  
Blogger expat@large said...

Dude, you weren't so straight when that masseuse in Gelylang twisted you like a pretzel over her knees!!!

Nice post by the way...

I have had that feeling in relationships myself a few times. And if you make the wrong decision you are kicking yourself for a lifetime afterwards. But how do you know you've made the wrong decision unless you lived that OTHER life, the one where you didn't... or the one where you did... Oh you could go crazy...

10:06 pm  
Blogger hugewhaleshark said...

All good, bro, except for that wake up in the middle of the night 40 degree fever bit. I'm on my own in that event, man. The kiddies take precendence.

7:55 am  

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